07/11/2025 but that doesnt mean i will stop reading blogs. bear blog is a very good minimal and original blog. i liked the blogs and people on it. i guess i have to be familiar with documentation. for example obsidian or notion. maybe ill rebuild my website. im gonaa make it messyyyyy XD
07/11/2025 2:02pm, man...maybe im not really cut out for blogging. like i wanted start a blog. i also wrote 2-3. but blogging is too much hassle tbh. i guess,for some people typing their thoughts out come so easily. english is not my first language,but i tend to express my emotions well in english. my weak point is grammar (i fking hate grammar man,why do grammar exist TOT). so if i really wannto blog, i need to learn eng grammar first. and right now i cannt. my final is in 1 dec. i have so fking lab assestment,cts,training classes,assignments,quiz. man im totally swamped. maybe blogging is really not for me,man :<
24/10/2025 ig i need to read some tragedy,otherwise im gonna f-up ^^
24/10/2025 8:49am, i saw a dream with my old friends. and you were there too. we were ignoring each other. at the ending,i was searching for you. i was desperately calling your name. but you were gone. it was my choice to not reach out anymore and and you also never texted back. thank you for your that acknowledgement. i saw your that self i wanted with others but not with me. im not really a vocal about my desires. im gonna miss your eyes. i have never saw that much sad eyes like you. i hope you find those people that make your eyes smile. but ill be sad that i was not the one of those people,i was not.
21/10/2025 GOOD MORNING OCTOBER! hehe,even though its late october but i wrote it like its first october. cz my mid extended to october and there was lot of presentation and projects. i could not really enjoyed october. and now,days are going like blurrrrrrrr,which is so bad.so what is my today's schedule? after 11am,i have to go to uni. before that,i need to fix a lab project idea,need to write another lab report,study about a topic,and find free rooms to change class routine. oh,we had a presentation in os class last saturday and i was one of the best presenter! >< alhamdulillah. i will work hard more insha allah. noow lets jump into work! lets have a good day!
20/10/2025 i miss checking my fav websites too. i think im seriously in trouble,man!
20/10/2025 im in loop. every morning i wake up and wanna write something here. then goes to uni hastily with last minute study prep,then at night i come back home and just regret and sleep,then i wake up again and repeat... i dont remember how lived this year. i forgot all. but theres still 2 month left right?but im already feeling like its january 2026...
24/09/2025 people come and go. people come and go. people come and go. people come and go,people come and go.
16/09/2025 6:24am - weathers been gloomy cloudy for 3 days. i woke up anxiously today. saw a weird dream,featuring a entity -_-
im not talking with many people with whom i used to talk always. i suck at keeping friendship and when i siad it to my best friend, he said, its not my fault if they suck at staying XD i love this guy xD
actually i found our values doesnot match actually. should i vocal it out? but they are mentally so broken and they will see it as a revenge later. i figured,the people i like first always a red flags. :( (so maybe ill stop liking at all)
11/09/2025 i was so swamp with my clas test and mids. im still now. i wont be free until 28.
drinking a new milk tea - 8.5/10
04/09/2025 im sorry, i told you already im bad at keeping people in my life. i hope, i hope you'll find your peace again.you were my first and true friend in this city. it was nice meeting you and ill miss our teamworks. im glad i met you, you taught me bravery. it would have been better if we both were of same gender. ik ik, i said this alot [sighs]. happy birthday. i hope you wont resent me for not communicating anymore and i hope we never meet agin even though we are in same place. because seeing you,i'll only feel regrets.
04/09/2025 10:13pm - "The people who are meant to bring light would not be very much use if they did not live in dark places,would they?" - just reading a hp fanfiction in ao3,luna said this to draco. nice words.
04/09/2025 I usually stay online very little, especially for chatting. The more I’m available offline, the less I’m available online. Last night I was chatting fun things in a group, at the same time chatting with someone who was stuck in a situationship, and another one who is dropping a semester in uni because he has no money. While chatting, I was wondering how fascinating it is that every single person has their own problems, their own situations. With all these differences, how do people actually connect, man??
30/08/2025 and i dreamed of smoking cigarette last night and i hate cigarette and never tried it. so wtf?
30/08/2025 I’m the top hater of myself, really.
28/08/2025 8:42am morning with a bright sky, sun and a cup of coffee with my heart full of gloom. Recently I’m trying, like continuously scanning out my obsessive time-waste useless thoughts. Why can not a human live alone? Why must you be with another human whom you can never ever express your own thoughts to, bcz you are weird asf. And they will never understand your thoughts. cz they are 'human'. what is the definition of ur fking 'human'? Whatever. maybe im angry. anyway, Today’s coffee is dope XD.
24/08/2025 7:54pm - im hungry asf
23/08/2025 Currently, it's 9:07 AM, and I'm sipping on my morning coffee. The morning weather is gloomy today, and I love gloomy days. I'm procrastinating again. Bad news! is it bad that i dont miss you anymore?
22/08/2025 Last night, I saw a dream, and I didn't like it. It was me, who is totally opposite of the real me. The thing is, I'm not upset with what I did in that dream. I'm upset about why I saw that dream. I'm questioning the mere existence of that dream. Why?
21/08/2025 finally! the website and blog page finished building. ill change the theme again after my mid or after this year. or maybe never? who knows [shruges]
19/08/2025 what do you call ethics without kindness? or ethics without respect? maybe im the naive one - always![laughs]
16/08/2025 it's 11.29 pm now! happy birthday 23. welcome to the world.